doubtfulace

Went for a run toady, running hasn't been good just lately had a bit of illness/injury so I've been strugglin to do the sorts of things that I could do with ease a couple of months ago. But anyway keeep goin, hang on in there, one foot in front of the other ect. Which is kinda a metaphore for my life. As is the fact a bloke ran into me, he simply wasn't looking where he was going, staring at a wall at 90 degrees to him infact, I had moved over as far as I reasonably easly could but we where on a tow path so I had limited room for menouver.But to no alvail straght into me.

Well this sums my life up. OK it taken insolation isn't such a bad thing, true. But stufflike this keeps happening to me. In less that perfect conditions I plod on hoping through my actions to make thing better but inverabliy I'm attacked/harrssed/abused wether delibertly or actdentily it still hurts.

Honestly it's almost five year since I embarked on this journey and I have to say it ain't no rip roaring success. The day I started this I would of settled for a good nights sleep and to be rid of these worthless I want to die feeling. Well five years on I'm not sleeping well, am depressed,single, lonley, skint,my ambition is no longer to have good things happen in my life, it's been a while since good stuff has happened, it simply dosen't. My ambition is to have an absence of bad in my day. If I can get through today and nothing bad has happened to me, I haven't been physically assulted then I've had a good day. This is the measure I use. This is how good my life is. What ever I do it never seams to be right or to work out. I try and I try and it comes up short.

Honestly I've had enough I don't know how much more of this I can take, my life shouldn't be like this. Maybe it is end game, find a nice tall building and end it all.